Association or Gathering of the Mureeds

Association or Gathering of the Mureeds

When one enters the spiritual path or begins to walk on the Sufi path, it does not matter that difficulties and problems may occur but that one is now better equipped to handle the difficulty. It only matters that now for the first time you can know why it occurs and for what purpose. That is the difference. People are usually not suffering from what comes to them but rather they are suffering mostly from not understanding why it comes and for what purpose.
Therefore, mureeds who are following the spiritual path should understand. They must know that belonging to a Tariqa or silsila does not automatically mean that they are safe from each other, because we know that one of Allah's ways of testing his servants is to test them by putting them against each other. This happens in a silsila as well as outside of the silsila. It is just that in a way within the silsila that is more noticeable because one does not expect it.
Our Tariqa or silsila is like a house. The house has rules for living or meeting with each other. It means that people who are following a spiritual path live so to say together in this house. They are following particular rules which are rules of this house. They are under the guidance of the master of this house, that is to walk on that spiritual path under the guidance of the owner of the house.
If someone does not follow the rules of the house, something is going to happen. Maybe, he/she is put outside for a while or maybe he/she is put outside for a while until permitted to come back. Remember there is no household without rules. One must know them and obey them. If you are accepting the rules of this house then you are actually living in this house under the eye and supervision of the Sheikh.
Through sohbat the Sufi's inner lives are brought together and their anfaas (plural of nafs) are kept in limits. In sohbat (association) when we are sitting together nobody is more than the other. The purpose of association is to keep the nafs in its limits.
Even in such a sohbat (association or gathering) sometimes what our ugly self, our nafs likes most, is to be noticed, to stand out, to be different, to be someone, to be more. This occurs when the nafs wants to stand out, wants to appear or wants to come out. The standing out comes from wanting to be noticed. One of the most famous way is to want to be noticed through anger and enmity towards others, even towards a brother or a sister of the silsila. Never think that this condition will not befall you. Never be to sure about yourself. Never think that you are not doing this in order to be noticed. How many things we do or say is not for that purpose? Remember, nobody is safe from their egos until they have reached the station of safety.
So when this happens what are we to do? When the nafs wants to be noticed through anger and enmity towards a brother or a sister, then the duty of the accused or criticized brother or sister, is to meet the soul of the one who opposes him/her with the heart. When you are attacked or criticized by someone, by brothers or by sisters, then do not hit back from your ego. You must meet the ego with your heart.
Why? When you meet the nafs with the heart, it loses all ground under its feet. it doesn't know what to do. It is enchanted. But if you counter nafs with nafs, then war begins and protection from evil disappears... there is no more safety from each other and from evil. That does not help anything. It just throws both of you out. That is very important. Know that as long as you are in the house of sohbat of the silsila, as long as you are counting yourself as a follower of that spiritual path, then know that this house has its rules. When somebody attacks you or criticizes you from his selfish self, his ego, his nafs, do not oppose with your nafs, because when that happens you are at war. Meet him/her from your heart, not from your ego. This is a rule of the house everyone should listen to because we can use it anytime. Remember the heart is better than the nafs. Allah says:

"...send forth that which is the best to repel wrong and then the one between whom you and him is enmity, will become as if the best of friends. And no one can accomplish that except those who believe and no one can accomplish it except through great striving."


WE are traveling on a spiritual path. When we say that we are from amongst the people of the Tariqa or silsila, then this verse applies to us.
The purpose of sohbat (association or gathering) is to be tuned to each other. The purpose of association is to be with each other... to have the same goals... to have the same intention... in pursuit of higher knowledge. In order to be in sohbat you must fulfill the rules for sohbat. You could sit here in appearance and in reality be somewhere else. The point is to be here, to be with each other, to be under the eyes and tawajju (spiritual attention) of your Sheikh. Don't come to the gathering to come and sleep, otherwise our purpose will be defeated.
That is the purpose of sohbat. We shall strip away all rancor, all bad underground feeling that is in our breasts, and as brothers and sisters sit upon couches face-to- face. Sheikh Umar Suhrawardi (RA) comments:
"The face-to-face occurs when the hidden inner side and outer side are the same."

This means that when we sit with anyone in sohbat , both our inside and outside must be the same, it must be balanced. We must not portray or have one side outside which is saying one thing and your inside is saying another thing. This is not sohbat. NO. You are not sitting face-to-face because you have another face. One face turned friendly and another face which is in enmity. That is not the rule of sohbat. If someone keeps in his breast a hidden feeling against his brother or sister, then there is no face-to-face even when his face is turned towards the other. One face in this direction and another face in another direction and sitting in front of each other talking about religion, Sufism and silsila. This is hypocrisy. That is not sohbat. You must understand and ponder over this. We must be with each other, facing each other. Our inside like our outside, towards our brothers and sisters.
The people of sohbat are face to face, inside and outside, together in familiarity and love. They meet to speak together and eat together, and in this way they hope to receive the blessings of their Lord. If people are following the rules of sohbat there is blessings. If they break the rules of sohbat, then no blessings. Please understand this very clear
It is reported that someone said to the Prophet Sallallahu alaihi wasallam:
"Rasulullah, we eat but our hunger is never stilled."

He replied:
"Maybe you eat separately. Come together and remember Allah, and you will be blessed."